Sunday, September 11, 2005

But Groundhog Day was on !

That's how I excused myself the other day when what was supposed to be a 5 minute break turned into a 2 hour interlude and left 2 oh-my-god-I-need-to-read papers unread in its wake. Groundhog Day is a member of the set that I call "Black Hole Movies". They are the movies that suck you in no matter what you are doing. Once you turn the TV on, you are no longer a man of your own free will. The force of these movies is so strong that it even lasts across commercials, so you are not immune even if you are watching it on network television (Heaven help you if you are watching commercial-free television!). Now, here are some axioms about the Black Hole set:

1) There is one such set for every person on the planet.

2) If you deny the existence of such a set, you are pathetically deluded.

3) The set only grows with time.

4) As soon as you come across a movie from this set on the TV, you will experience a strong urge to put down anything that you are doing and submit to its will.

5) You will experience strong feelings of joy and giddiness after watching such a movie which will far outweigh any feelings of guilt about shirking work, if any.

6) If you actually try to use this set as an excuse to another person (esp. a superior), you will be ridiculed and laughed out of the room.

7) There is no requirement that all movies in this set be good movies. Some movies may derive their force from the atrocity of their scripts.

8) If you record yourself watching a black hole movie and play it back in reverse while you are standing on your head wearing a one-sleeved shirt, you will hear the words "resistance is futile" over and over.

I will now reveal to you some members of my black hole set. Judge not lest ye shall be judged. Groundhog Day, Godzilla, Jeepers Creepers 2, One Fine Day, Army of Darkness, Scent of a Woman, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Agneepath, The LOTR Trilogy, The Die Hard Trilogy.

[ P.S.- Yes, I do not have a social life. Thanks for asking. ]


Anonymous said...

There are two ways to define a set, by listing or by mentioning attributes. The reason math guys prefer the second way is because nobody else has a clue of what they are talking about and hence they can stay clear of disputes. For example, "The Hahn Bananch Space of type r folds on its own and defined as ....". You come up with a counter example and the guy would say, "hey, this is not the kind I was talking about." Both, you and him, go home, happy. However you provide examples and you are inviting trouble. For example Jeepers Creepers 2!, no way it belongs to the blackhole set. As a matter of fact, here is a lemma, "Any movie with a numeric tag, doesn't belong to any set worth mentioning, not even the TV set."


DesiLinguist said...

Good point but does that really apply here? You are talking about static sets or the ones that remain fixed. However the Black Hole set may be different for everyone :)

Amy said...

Hmm, mine are American Pie, Can't Buy Me Love, The Usual Suspects, The Shawshank Redemption (although this one is starting to wear on me), Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Field of Dreams and The Untouchables (and not because of Kevin Costner).