Lasagna & Birdwatching?

I was just watching The Daily Show and saw a commercial for Ask Jeeves. It was interesting to say the least. Here's how it went: A bird-watcher is standing in the marshes observing what I can only assume are some very interesting birds - because why else would you be in a marsh? Of course, that's something for another post. A woman comes out with a child and says, "I need a recipe for lasagna". The bird-watcher makes a face and then ignores her. This is followed by a voice-over which says, "Don't ask a bird-watcher. Ask Jeeves." Now, I understand the point of this commercial. But is there an arcane relationship between bird-watching and lasagna of which I have been unaware all this time? Have I been kept in the dark when it comes to the one of the most boring pastimes on the planet and the-food-that-Garfield-loves ?

Speaking of the show, Alan Alda was on ! Even though it was just for 10 minutes, I found out that he has just written his memoirs - Never Have Your Dog Stuffed : And Other Things I've Learned. Oh well, another day, another book on the wish list.

They did it again !

I had forgotten all about the Booker Prize shortlist, which was supposed to come out on 8th September. I just remembered and looked it up, hoping that they had found their way to nominate Rushdie again. Of course, life is full of disappointments and therefore, no Rushdie. *sigh* Well at least, they did retain my other favorite this year - Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.

Never you mind, Mr. Rushdie. You will always be no. 1 in my book !

But Groundhog Day was on !

That's how I excused myself the other day when what was supposed to be a 5 minute break turned into a 2 hour interlude and left 2 oh-my-god-I-need-to-read papers unread in its wake. Groundhog Day is a member of the set that I call "Black Hole Movies". They are the movies that suck you in no matter what you are doing. Once you turn the TV on, you are no longer a man of your own free will. The force of these movies is so strong that it even lasts across commercials, so you are not immune even if you are watching it on network television (Heaven help you if you are watching commercial-free television!). Now, here are some axioms about the Black Hole set:

1) There is one such set for every person on the planet.

2) If you deny the existence of such a set, you are pathetically deluded.

3) The set only grows with time.

4) As soon as you come across a movie from this set on the TV, you will experience a strong urge to put down anything that you are doing and submit to its will.

5) You will experience strong feelings of joy and giddiness after watching such a movie which will far outweigh any feelings of guilt about shirking work, if any.

6) If you actually try to use this set as an excuse to another person (esp. a superior), you will be ridiculed and laughed out of the room.

7) There is no requirement that all movies in this set be good movies. Some movies may derive their force from the atrocity of their scripts.

8) If you record yourself watching a black hole movie and play it back in reverse while you are standing on your head wearing a one-sleeved shirt, you will hear the words "resistance is futile" over and over.

I will now reveal to you some members of my black hole set. Judge not lest ye shall be judged. Groundhog Day, Godzilla, Jeepers Creepers 2, One Fine Day, Army of Darkness, Scent of a Woman, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Agneepath, The LOTR Trilogy, The Die Hard Trilogy.

[ P.S.- Yes, I do not have a social life. Thanks for asking. ]